You don’t like burritos. Or any other Mexican food, for that matter.
There were a lot of things I was willing to overlook when we first started hanging out. Your glasses that turn into sunglasses in the sun, your constant joke about the size of your wiener, those jeans with the funny little embroidery on the pockets.
But then you dropped a bomb. “I don’t really like Mexican food.” Complete silence from my end - “Not even Burritos?” “Not even burritos.” Well, you might as well have just punched me in the throat and called me fat. What the hell is wrong with you? Even the pickiest of eaters like burritos. They’re versatile. They’re delicious. THEY’RE FUCKING BURRITOS. Look, I’m really sorry if you only like cheese pizza and french fries. I mean, they’re tasty, who doesn’t like pizza? But I really didn’t expect a grown-ass man to eat like a 7-year old. I can give you graphs and charts and statistics to prove that you really SHOULD like burritos. What’s that? You’ve only had them once or twice? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? I tried mayonnaise for AT LEAST a year before I decided I hated it. And you’re basing your disdain on a couple of bad experiences. I’m not about to force you to try anything you claim not to like, but I simply just can’t roll with a dude who doesn’t like my all-time favorite food of all time. Give me a call when you’re ready to hit up Chipotle.
Written by theveryangrykaterpillar.