Why … why are you looking at me like that?  We’re not even talking, we’re just getting on an escalator.  There’s no reason to look at me right now.  In fact, you shouldn’t be looking at me because you could trip.  We’re about to get on moving stairs.  So I don’t understand why you’re— Oh.  Oh no.  No, please, no.  You’re studying my face, aren’t you?  You’re standing there, not saying anything to me, and you’re drinking me in, aren’t you?  Are you going to look at me while I sleep too?  C’mon!  This was working out.  This could have been something - provided you kept me constantly wondering where I stood with you.  Blech. Have fun getting married and living a happy life with someone else, weirdo.  (Which I will then obsess and lament over as much as I see fit.)

A Guest Dealbreaker written by the very likeable Lindsay Katai.