You Are My Best Friend
Oh shit.  Oops.  Shit.  Is that you  lying next to me in bed, naked?  Really?  I mean no really why are you  naked?  And why is your hand on my ass?  And how many shots did we have  last night?  And why oh why is there jizz on my sheets?  Wait.  No.  I  am remembering now.  I am remembering your o-face.  I know we’re best  friends and we hang out all the time and we’ve seen each other cry and I  helped you through that whole your-little-brother-was-in-a-coma thing  and you helped me through my whole my-little-sister-went-to-rehab thing  (twice) and we know each other pretty well but now I know your o-face?   Please no.  Does that mean you know mine?  Let me think.  Oh no, thank  god, not my real one anyway.  Oh no you’re waking up.  And your hand is  moving from my ass… to my boobs?  Do you know who I am?  You’re saying  my name so I guess you do.  Morning nookie?  Really?  Well, okay.  Since  we’re already here.
-Written By Are Plantains Bananas?

You Are My Best Friend

Oh shit.  Oops.  Shit.  Is that you lying next to me in bed, naked?  Really?  I mean no really why are you naked?  And why is your hand on my ass?  And how many shots did we have last night?  And why oh why is there jizz on my sheets?  Wait.  No.  I am remembering now.  I am remembering your o-face.  I know we’re best friends and we hang out all the time and we’ve seen each other cry and I helped you through that whole your-little-brother-was-in-a-coma thing and you helped me through my whole my-little-sister-went-to-rehab thing (twice) and we know each other pretty well but now I know your o-face?  Please no.  Does that mean you know mine?  Let me think.  Oh no, thank god, not my real one anyway.  Oh no you’re waking up.  And your hand is moving from my ass… to my boobs?  Do you know who I am?  You’re saying my name so I guess you do.  Morning nookie?  Really?  Well, okay.  Since we’re already here.

-Written By Are Plantains Bananas?

  1. datingla reblogged this from dealbreaker
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  5. catisinthebag reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    OMG, this made me laugh so much.
  6. christineohhh reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    For the first time in my entire life, I am in a real friend zone. Wow. Didn’t see that one coming. Also, still love When...
  7. unwantedcelibacy reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    been there, done this, a thousand times
  8. aleafonthemaplestree reblogged this from dealbreaker
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  12. kristinethedream reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Been there, done that.
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