You Are My Best Friend
Oh shit. Oops. Shit. Is that you lying next to me in bed, naked? Really? I mean no really why are you naked? And why is your hand on my ass? And how many shots did we have last night? And why oh why is there jizz on my sheets? Wait. No. I am remembering now. I am remembering your o-face. I know we’re best friends and we hang out all the time and we’ve seen each other cry and I helped you through that whole your-little-brother-was-in-a-coma thing and you helped me through my whole my-little-sister-went-to-rehab thing (twice) and we know each other pretty well but now I know your o-face? Please no. Does that mean you know mine? Let me think. Oh no, thank god, not my real one anyway. Oh no you’re waking up. And your hand is moving from my ass… to my boobs? Do you know who I am? You’re saying my name so I guess you do. Morning nookie? Really? Well, okay. Since we’re already here.
-Written By Are Plantains Bananas?