You Wet The Bed
Ok, you’re seemingly a lot drunker than I am and you stink of cigarettes but yeah sure, I’ll make out with you for a while. Cool, you’re kissing my neck and nibbling my ear, oh wait YOU TONGUE IS IN MY EAR CANAL. MAKE IT STOP. Oh that’s handy, you passed out on the bed, crisis averted.
A few hours later I wake up next to you and my sheets are wet, that’s weird. My glass of water is empty so maybe one of us spilt it, I’ll allow it…wait a minute…the water is from around your crotch. That’s not water, that’s your urine. When I shake you awake to politely let you know that you wet my bed, no, soaked my bed. You shrug and say ‘it happens’. ‘It happens’ was acceptable 20 years ago but I am disgusted and have to sleep on this mattress every night. Wetting the bed is one thing but being so nonchalant about it is is quite another. I’m sorry but get out of bed and out of my life. No, I don’t even want to be friends with a bed wetter.
-Written by electracomplex