You’re Not Michelle Obama
These last three weeks have been fun. Really, they have! That little sushi place tucked away downtown nobody knows about? Great. Terrific soup menu. And even the Ikea date (wonder where you got that idea) was cute, in a twee-lookit-my-fixed-gear-and-nose-ring kind of way. But I think we should see other people. It’s not you. It’s not me, either. It’s Michelle.
I mean, have you seen the first lady? Those legs! Those arms! That very reasonable childhood obesity policy! What’s not to love? I mean, sure she’s taken now, but just because there’s a goalie who’s the leader of the free world doesn’t mean you can’t score, right? Right?
Ah, fuck it. Want to get sushi again?
-Written by BombsForBreakfast

You’re Not Michelle Obama

These last three weeks have been fun. Really, they have! That little sushi place tucked away downtown nobody knows about? Great. Terrific soup menu. And even the Ikea date (wonder where you got that idea) was cute, in a twee-lookit-my-fixed-gear-and-nose-ring kind of way. But I think we should see other people. It’s not you. It’s not me, either. It’s Michelle.

I mean, have you seen the first lady? Those legs! Those arms! That very reasonable childhood obesity policy! What’s not to love? I mean, sure she’s taken now, but just because there’s a goalie who’s the leader of the free world doesn’t mean you can’t score, right? Right?

Ah, fuck it. Want to get sushi again?

-Written by BombsForBreakfast

  1. pikkuxtiikeri reblogged this from dealbreaker
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  8. maggieblueberry reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    life-ruiners. Goddamn, woman, those shoulders. o_O
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    be my bestie/stepmom/fairy godmother/Yoda/conscious.
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  20. illsharpton reblogged this from andmodern and added:
    This explains the new followers at I Totally Dated Michelle Obama. Right on, dealbreaker folks.
  21. andmodern reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Sarah. I don’t even. I’m so proud.
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  23. cmccluree reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    DEALBREAKER, I’ve miss you.