FRIENDBREAKER: Your Bird Nest Hair

Oh, wow. New friend! Yes, I thought you would make quite the amazing addition to my slew of friends. You’re funny and sarcastic, almost to a breaking point. I can never really seem to catch a breath around you because of your unfailing humor. You’re also the greatest shopping buddy anyone can have (major points for telling me that shirt DID look good on me to make me feel better, even though it was a particularly nasty shade of green). What’s that? Oh, ew. Somehow a feather got into your hair, let me just take that out for you. Say what? It’s clipped in? Why would a bird’s feather be clipped into -

Oh, it’s a trend? A really fashionable trend? All those cool celebrities are having it done in their hair? All the salons are stocking “feather extensions” in their stores? It looks like you got your secret roll-in-bird-feathers fetish on and forgot to take out the feathers so you wouldn’t get caught. Come again? I don’t understand fashion? I’m no longer cool? Excuse me for not understanding sticking feathers in your hair. I’ll try to pray that you don’t get some weird bird disease. In the meantime, I’ll take my uncool hair and look like a bird didn’t just attack it.

-Written By Taylor