You Ate All My Cookie-Dough Ice Cream
Well, hi, it’s nice to meet you too, friend-of-a-friend! What? Yeah, this is cookie-dough ice cream I’m ea—oh, what, you want some? Okay, I guess. You’re just going to go get your own spoon? Alright, being sanitary is cool and all. Oh, my God, is that a ladle? Whatever, I don’t judge people based on spoon-size preferences, so it’s fine. Wait, what are you doing? Taking my pint out of my hand? Bold move, bro. Well, I was kind of eating that, but we just met, so I don’t want to be rude. I’ll just pretend to be busy with my phone for a second, and then I’ll take it back—wait, what the fuck? How are you done ALREADY? God damn it, now I have to go buy more. I hope you choke on all the delicious Haagen-Daz you stole, you bastard.
-Written by thewildhearts

You Ate All My Cookie-Dough Ice Cream

Well, hi, it’s nice to meet you too, friend-of-a-friend! What? Yeah, this is cookie-dough ice cream I’m ea—oh, what, you want some? Okay, I guess. You’re just going to go get your own spoon? Alright, being sanitary is cool and all. Oh, my God, is that a ladle? Whatever, I don’t judge people based on spoon-size preferences, so it’s fine. Wait, what are you doing? Taking my pint out of my hand? Bold move, bro. Well, I was kind of eating that, but we just met, so I don’t want to be rude. I’ll just pretend to be busy with my phone for a second, and then I’ll take it back—wait, what the fuck? How are you done ALREADY? God damn it, now I have to go buy more. I hope you choke on all the delicious Haagen-Daz you stole, you bastard.

-Written by thewildhearts

  1. gillyb3an reblogged this from dealbreaker
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  11. dweeds reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    ahhhhhh.. I want ice cream. come to think of it.. I always want ice cream.
  12. urforeverminee reblogged this from dealbreaker
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  16. umph reblogged this from benedict-cumberbats and added:
    Cookie dough is my favourite anything
  17. benedict-cumberbats reblogged this from dealbreaker
  18. withawinkandasmile reblogged this from dealbreaker
  19. neurote reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Dear future acquaintances, friends, boyfriends, and husband, you best be not touchin mah cookie dough ice cream.
  20. sickofswimming reblogged this from dealbreaker
  21. blerdgirlchronicles reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Change this to Haagen-Daz’s Mango Sherbert, and I might have to choke a bitch.
  22. awwyeemuffins reblogged this from dealbreaker
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  24. thewildhearts submitted this to dealbreaker