Dealbreaker: You’re Miley Cyrus.

So we went out, it was kinda nice, except for the annoying paparazzi, but you talked about how you were just trying to live a normal life and you hated a lot of the intrusion. That’s cool, I live a normal life. You invited me back to your place, which I thought was kinda nice because you’re rich and your house is mega-fancy. You have a whole lot of cds, and you ask if you mind what you put on. Of course I don’t, this is your house - your rules. You put on one of your own cd’s. Umm. Okay. Bit weird. I’ve never heard any of your songs before though, so I give it a shot. Your first song is angst. You kinda bob your head along as if you’re enjoying it, and I put it down to the fact that you don’t really see it as your own music since you didn’t actually write it. The second song though, I see on the track listing, you co-wrote. You start singing. No. Nonononononono. Miley, I just can’t do this. No, putting on the wig won’t help, I hate her too. You’re pretentious and arrogant. I don’t understand how you acted so nice on our date. You wrote a song about teenagers not being able to be themselves? Okay yeah I had my time when the only songs I could write started with “oh I’m so sad that you left me” but then it passed. Grow up, write a song about something other than love or angst, stop singing along to it, then give me a call.

-Written by Taste of Honey