Look at this mess in the server room! When we first met, and you said you worked with animals, I thought it was something unimportant like dogs or zebras. I didn’t think you worked for tumblr, and I certainly didn’t think that you were given the most important job of all: feeding the goddamn tumbeasts. Sleeping with you is great, but when I log on and find out the server room’s wrecked because of our shower sex, it makes my soul die a little. My lack of addictive social networking is starving this relationship, so get back to work. I’ve got pictures of cuter men to look at with cuter cats than yours.

Written by bitchesgetroses.tumblr.com