You Don’t Reciprocate Oral Sex
Esteemed Associate, Weekly Co-habitator. I have called you here today to address a very serious concern that threatens the harmony of this alliance. It has come to my attention that there is a trade imbalance in this relationship. We have been exporting fellatio at rate of 5 times per week, while import of cunnlingus has dropped from one time per week to zero times per week with the exception of a birthday. If 18th century economist Adam Smith’s theory on Absolute Advantage has taught us anything, ignoring this deficit can only result in one thing: You’re going to get dumped in favor of a dude who’s begging to chomp on this box lunch.