You’re Still Not Over Your High School Girlfriend

You’re almost done with college. You’ve been dating me for about a month. Suddenly you decide to tell me you’re not over your girlfriend from high school? Nice. Sure, you two were together for a long time. I’ve been in a long term relationship before too! You don’t see me whining. And speaking of complaining, how do you have time to write 50 Facebook updates a day about how sad you are, but you’re too busy to text me back? So, she was your “first”. I do not care. Oh, one reason you guys had problems was because she smoked too much weed? I can see why you’d miss her so much. Oh, you guys got back together a month ago…but then she got sick of you a week later? Makes sense. I can see why you’d miss a girl like that. So let’s get this straight…she dumped you more than three years ago, then you had a short fling 3 years later and she dumped you again. THAT is why you are dumping me right now? Don’t feel bad. The pleasure, the privilege is mine, you whiny little bitch. 

-Written By LoveBatteries