You Buy Magnum Condoms (And You Don’t Need Them)

So there was that one time you and your ex had that pregnancy scare because the condom broke. But it was one of those free city condoms and it had been sitting in your wallet for like a century. This does not mean your member is so unbearably huge that it simply cannot be contained by a standard-sized condom.  But whatever, I’ll go with it.  I can overlook that your ego is bigger than your c**k because you give amazing head.  Ok it’s in now.  That feels alright i guess.  I mean I can’t even really tell that you’re wearing it.  Sure, it’s a little loose but- wait. What is that rubbery thing stuck to my thigh? Oh it SLIPPED off? You’re sorry, you didn’t even notice? Great. Now you can haul ass to the pharmacy and get the morning-after pill.  Don’t bother picking up any more condoms because your totally average penis and my vagina are totally over.

-Written By Nora