GUESTBREAKER: Your Tux T-Shirt
Ok. Wow. Let’s turn back the clock to the time of purchase for this abomination. “Oh! Hey! Look! It’s like the mullet of torso garb! Business on top and FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE all over! You have my sale!” You probably thought you’d be “peacocking” it up with this hot number, right? The best non-Urban Outfitters purchase since your Guster shirt! Yes, the tux-shirt, there’s never a place you can’t rock it… except funerals, balls, or anywhere that the mean IQ is over 90…so, it’ll be perfect for your upcoming mixer with those sorority girls who are “like, super nice and probably DTF.” There’s even a goddamn boutineer! I guess I should be giving you “mad ups” for the matching black solo cup…if it wasn’t filled with peach schnapps which are “totes your fav” now? Really? Ok, brah, keep up the quasi-gay tween lingo to win my trust, what page of The Game was that particular gem on? Now fuck off, I’m going to go find a guy with a Heineken in his hand and two balls in his jeans.
A Guest Dealbreaker written by Steph.
