You Hate Puppies, Babies, and Christmas

This date should be so much fun! Walking around in park looking at Christmas lights sounds perfect! Oh! What an adorable dog! Oh my gosh, he’s even coming up to me. But as soon as the lady walks away with her dog, you drop a bomb: you hate dogs. Oh? Well I guess some people don’t like dogs. I mean, maybe you had a bad experience with one or something. No big deal. Cat people are intellectuals right? It’s fine. Look at all the pretty lights. Oh you’re criticizing the lights now… You hate Christmas? It’s a “commercialized, propaganda filled holiday?” Oh well,  I guess you’re entitled to your opinion. Its just one holiday, right?! I will let it slide. Those kids are so cute on that mini train! You dont like children? You never want to have any? You think having children is selfish? Oh. Well, you will not have to worry about having children with me considering your hateful depressive penis won’t be going anywhere near my vessel. Thanks for hating everything that exudes joy. Drive yourself home, Charlie Brown.

-Written by jamidevore