You’re a Pickup Artist

So, your name is Laser Vision? Really? Is that your given name, or just a really great way to start a conversation? Do I want to see a card trick? Huh? Now you’re just answering a question with a question. Why do you want to know if I believe in the power of hypnotic suggestion? Oh. Wait a minute. I know what’s going on. Look, man, I refuse to be just another feather in your (pirate) hat. You’re as obvious and easy to read as the words on your scrolling LED belt buckle. You’ve paid thousands of dollars to learn how to trick women into sleeping with you, all with the precision of a dungeons and dragons enthusiast. I’m going to go talk to my normal friends now. You know, the human beings over there who don’t need to take a class to find out how to talk to people.