The Dealbreaker Files: Mr. Not-Even-Ready-For-a-Rebound
I’ve had a crush on you for awhile, but I haven’t said anything because you have a girlfriend. Then, one fine day when we’re at a work convention in the big city, you pull me aside to make a confession that you’ve liked me for over a year but couldn’t say anything because I was dating that other guy. You begin to flirt with me and then buy me some drinks. Four or five shots later you stumble toward me and kiss me. I back away because you have a girlfriend, and you say it’s okay because you’re going to break up with her. I back off and say, “Until then, let’s not do this.” You reluctantly back off.
A couple of weeks pass, and you’re still with your girlfriend. You call me up crying telling me she’s been cheating on you for the last six months. I console you, I make you soup, and I hold your hand. A week later you ask me to dinner and tell me I have beautiful eyes and you kiss me. Then everyday, you continue to flirt with me and the coworkers are beginning to notice. They even congratulate you for finding such a great catch. You take me to meet your parents, and you buy me gifts.
Today during dinner, I ask you where we stand, and you respond with, “you know, this other girl at work asked me out but I told her I wasn’t ready for a relationship.” “Oh,” I said. “Is that all you told her?” “Yes, because it’s true. I’m not ready for a relationship.” I get up in anger and leave. You text me with, “I understand if you don’t want to be my friend.” I respond with, “You don’t deserve my friendship.” And then, as if being possessed by the exorcist, you text me this: “I never liked you, I never wanted to introduce you to my parents, and you are unattractive…”
Today, I realized it’s time to scratch the clinically insane from my list.
-Written by eyesontheprizeproject
