I experienced the first of many lovely nights with a new lover, and was shocked to find that he appeared to be oblivious to the new trend that's sweeping the nation: manscaping. Now, I don't require cue balls (an ideal, but it's not for everyone) but some sort of considerate care in the area goes a long way. I've had a healthy amount of lovers, but haven't come across this since I was a teenager. What to say, and how to say it? Something must be done. This is not the man that would be open to couples shaving, and I'm not particularly interested either. I just need something to happen. A male friend suggested making a joke about it. I feel like making a jokes about a man's genitals while he is present, is a sure way to never see those genitals again. Thoughts? It's really cramping my style, if ya' know what I mean.

Anonymous

1. lick his balls then pick a hair out of your teeth and be like, “you should shave these balls!”  

2. shave your bush completely off and then make him jealous by talking about how silky good it makes you feel

3.  plant some pube trimmings on the toilet bowl and then ask him if they are his trimmings and when he is like “no, I don’t shave my pubes” be like “oh” and then he’s like “should I?” and then you’re like “sure”

4. tell him you have an unfulfilled fantasy to put clean shaven balls on your face 

5. when you’re taking a shower together and you’re done shaving your armpits, be like, “you can use my razor to shave your balls if you want”

6. tell him how much more fun slobbin’ on his knob would be if he trimmed dat beast.   

Good Luck!

  1. skye-tatum reblogged this from dealbreaker
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  5. placesweusedtogo said: How about just grow up? I’ve slept with about 100 people and only 3 of them (of either sex) were completely bald? Who is this person sleeping with? Who thinks “cue balls” is an ideal? Shit is nasty.
  6. ohmyno said: I’m not for two-inch ball hair, but that cue ball jazz is a little freaky too.
  7. cameronchristopher said: But I’m terrified to shave my balls. I’m also lazy.
  8. sparkgrrl658 said: OH GOD. i clearly blocked out a similar memory until i read this, and now i can feel the hair being sucked out of my mouth as i type this. you’re welcome. ew. oh god. why didn’t i just go to bed like i planned.
  9. nebulullaby said: Or she can just ask “Can you get rid of some of that hair please?” Also, digging the term ‘slobbin’ on his knob.’
  10. dealbreaker posted this