GUESTBREAKER: Your Vanity Muscles
Yes, it’s true that when I first laid eyes on you, it was your broad shoulders and rather large arms that drove me to drunkenly wave at you.   It didn’t take long before I found out that your protein shakes give you intolerable gas and your post workout supplements cause impotence!   You’d think for all of the suffering your bulging muscles have caused me you could have picked me up in the shower to fuck, or maybe even thrown me over your shoulders. Christ, carrying my luggage every once in awhile would have been nice! After all, you can bench press twice my weight.   Alas no, you’re muscles are good for one thing and one thing only: luring unsuspecting woman into sexless, gassy relationships.   While you were at the gym I should have been out looking for a man capable of having an intelligent conversation.
A Guest Dealbreaker written by Heather.

GUESTBREAKER: Your Vanity Muscles

Yes, it’s true that when I first laid eyes on you, it was your broad shoulders and rather large arms that drove me to drunkenly wave at you. It didn’t take long before I found out that your protein shakes give you intolerable gas and your post workout supplements cause impotence! You’d think for all of the suffering your bulging muscles have caused me you could have picked me up in the shower to fuck, or maybe even thrown me over your shoulders. Christ, carrying my luggage every once in awhile would have been nice! After all, you can bench press twice my weight. Alas no, you’re muscles are good for one thing and one thing only: luring unsuspecting woman into sexless, gassy relationships. While you were at the gym I should have been out looking for a man capable of having an intelligent conversation.

A Guest Dealbreaker written by Heather.

  1. enjoywasting reblogged this from dealbreaker
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  4. thisiswhyyourestillsingle reblogged this from dealbreaker
  5. wendyomgzlol reblogged this from dealbreaker
  6. merrykrissy reblogged this from dealbreaker
  7. fartherfromearth reblogged this from fishnetsdistressed and added:
    ”I mean this situation is going to be indescribable. You can’t even describe the situation that you’re about to get...
  8. hungryasawolfe reblogged this from dealbreaker
  9. beastofburden reblogged this from dealbreaker
  10. monikachaos reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    THE SITUATION.
  11. megsy25 reblogged this from dealbreaker
  12. mystarsobright reblogged this from dealbreaker
  13. savemebarry11 reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    I’ve never been attracted to meat heads. Sure, I can appreciate a toned man, but I draw the line guys who drone on and...
  14. wildinnocent reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    THIS IS GREAT. I graduated with his sister, in good ol’ Jersey. OH MAN. I CAN’T EVEN.
  15. notexactly reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    a.k.a “You’re the
  16. yeoldeblogge reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    gah I can’t stand people who are overly muscular.
  17. bafflevent reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Unless you are an athlete, all muscles are vanity muscles. Vanity muscles can never replace a personality. The “club”...
  18. arrowsandaccolades reblogged this from dealbreaker
  19. academicmermaid reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    HAHHA
  20. overcaffeinatedandunderfed reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    And THIS is the situation, girls and gays. You’ve been warned. Heed Heather. Heed her now.
  21. ramatoulie reblogged this from dealbreaker