You Don’t Know How To Get Me Off

The first time we had sex, your second step after making out was full on intercourse. My first thought was that you just found me so fucking hot you couldn’t wait to get my clothes off and just go at it. I let myself be flattered, and when I didn’t have an orgasm I thought, “no biggie.” After all, It doesn’t always happen the first time. The second time you got me naked, I realized you had never walked through the enchanted forest of foreplay. We kiss, we go at it, you roll over and sleep. The third time I was only there because I was drunk and the forth time I just straight up asked you to make me come. I knew from where you put your hands that you had never used them for that purpose, and if any orgasms had ever come from sex with you it was probably because the woman worked very, very hard for herself. And that’s something I am entirely too bored and lazy to do right now. Instead I’ll have to fake-it just so I can get some sleep.

-Written by Diana