Holy Shit! Where Did Dealbreaker Go?
Hello friends! It’s me, Dave. I’m the curly-haired one in that picture, although I just cut it all off a few weeks ago. How are you? Let me explain myself. I’m not just trying to waltz back into your life after months and months of radio silence. No, I’m here to let you know where we’ve been, what we’ve been doing, and where we’re going.
Still there? Have you run screaming from this post because it’s not about how gross it is when someone says “you’re weird” when you tell a joke on a date (seriously, that shit is unacceptable)? Listen, Dealbreaker has been in hibernation for a long time. Myself and Marisa, the blonde one in the photo (although her hair is brown again! That is an old picture!), decided that we should check in and let you all know what’s been going on. I logged into this account about a month ago and was amazed that people are still following this blog. Our numbers have actually doubled(!) since we wrote a book and stopped regularly updating this thing. That makes my cold heart grow three times it’s normal size, like the Grinch. But unlike the Grinch, I’m not a cartoon, so I should probably go to the hospital.
ANYWAY, hi! Here’s the deal: We love this blog. We love writing for it and we love all the submissions you guys have shared with us over the years. We even love(d) doling out advice on here, even though we were grossly under qualified for the job. I hope we didn’t ruin any relationships with our half-baked ideas and stern commands to “break up, you dumb idiot,” which is something I think I said about 12 times in videos and posts. But, as much as we love all of that, we’ve been incredibly busy with other projects. For one, we wrote a TV pilot! Seriously! Look, here’s a scene from it:
We’ve also been writing for the ABC comedy Don’t Trust The B- In Apartment 23, which airs Wednesdays at 9:30. Tonight’s episode has Kiernan Shipka, otherwise known as Sally Draper from Mad Men! It was an amazing experience working on the show, and we’re incredibly proud of it.
Right now we are working on a new TV script, and getting a few other projects ready as well. Marisa is still improvising with the UCB Harold team The Great War most Monday nights here in LA, and I’m still doing shows with my sketch group A Kiss From Daddy. You can check all of that good stuff out on UCB’s website.
We’ll be checking in over here from time to time, whether to share a new video we’ve been working on, a guest submission that’s too good not to post, or maybe even a new piece of writing for the site. For example, I just wrote a piece on my own blog called The Three Post-Breakup Phases that I’ll be re-posting here, because I think our readers might be interested in it.
So, my little cheeseburgers, thank you for coming back over and over for repeated glimpses into relationship hell. If you hate dating, you’re not alone, but if Marisa and I could offer up anything to from our 3+ years of Dealbreaking (holy crap!), it would be that hating is easy (and let’s be honest, funny), but at the end of the day, there’s nothing better than finding someone who doesn’t piss you off enough to want to throw them off a building constantly. Good luck in your search. Maybe some of these links will help:
The Dealbreaker Index: Our first several hundred entries.
DEALBREAKER Vimeo: All those videos of us staring into a webcam. And a few others!
Self Absorption At Discount Prices: Dave’s Blog. Like Dealbreaker, but more specific and with more pizza.
Commedesfuckdown: The official site of Stephen Meiers, the amazing photographer who took that picture of us!
Don’t Trust The B-: The Official Site of the ABC show we’ve been writing for.
@Dave_Horwitz: Dave’s Twitter. Yeah, he’s one of those jerks.
Dave (and Marisa)