About

These are dealbreakers and they are capable of ruining everything.

We are Dave and Marisa and we are cringing as we type this. blog your own dealbreakers or send to: dealbreakerblog@gmail.com
Update: We're on Twitter! @Dealbreakerblog

PAST ENTRIES

You Came On My Face

You Don't Have Sheets On Your Bed

Everything About You

You Think You're a White Rapper

You're A Picky Eater

Your Ex Is "Totally Jealous Of Me"

DEALMAKER: You're A Nice Jewish Guy

Your O-Face

You're A Juggalo

You Are Bella From Twilight

You Have A Small Penis

Your Misuse Of Quotation Marks

You've Been In a Sarah Palin Video On Youtube

Your Gross Feet

You Don't Eat

You Don't Like To Watch Degrassi

You Refer To Yourself In The Third Person

You Share Custody Of Your Dog With Your Ex

Your Daddy Issues

Your Wallet Chain

Thanksgiving Plans!

You're "Bad At Relationships"

You're Not A Delicious Pizza

You Have Swine Flu

Your Blatant Sexual Harassment

DEALMAKER: You Brought Cupcakes To Work

You're A Gutter Punk

You're Walmart

You Hate My City (LA)

You're a Tyrannical Music Snob

You Have The Same Name As My Dad

You Dumped Me

DEALMAKER: You're British

You're Married... With Kids

You (Unironically) Call Things Gay

You Don't Have A Condom

You're a Philosophy Major

Rebuttal: Your Slutty Halloween Costume Is Fine With Me...

Your Slutty Halloween Costume

You Watch The Hills

Dave And Marisa: Snarky Blogmonsters

You Don't Know We're Dating

Your Use Of Emoticons

You Grabbed My Penis On The L Train

Your Meaningful Lyrics

You're An American Apparel Model

You're Lady Gaga

You Watch Fox News

You Say Things Like “I’m Just One Of Those People That Likes To Get Up Early And Go For A Run”

You Won't Kiss Me After Oral

You Chew Gum In Your Sleep

Your Relationship With Your Mom

You're a Furry

Your Devil Sticks

Your Love of Cocaine

You're Boring

You Sell Weed

You Have a Tail

You're Not Patrick Swayze

You Have Shitty Taste In Music

You "Can't Go For That"

DEALMAKER: You Are Barack Obama

Your Use Of "That's What She Said"

You Would Do Anything For Love, But You Won't Do That

You're The Cat Lady

You Own A Yacht

You Add "(Sp?)" After Misspelled Words

Your Joke T-Shirts

You're Against Universal Health Care

You're Not Really a Puppy Person

You're Probably a Lesbian

DEALMAKER: I Like You So Much I'll Put Up With Your Dealbreakers

You're Stretching Your Ears

You’re The Singer For Republica And It’s Been 12 Years Since “Ready To Go”

You Are Guy Fieri

Your Half Ponytail

You Aren’t a Real Person, Just a Coat on a Coat-rack in the Dark

You Can't Hang

You Only Drink Malternative Beverages

You Wear Shorts To Important Events

You Don't Like Prince

You Gave Me a Fake Name

You Love The Plain White T's

Your Cucumber Melon Body Spray

You Won't Take Out Your Bluetooth

You Read Dealbreaker

Your Frosted Tips

You Hate Unicorns

DEALMAKER: That Ass

Your Racist Jokes

Article: That Super Quirky Girl From That Movie

You Call Target "Tarjay"

You Don't "Get" Radiohead

You Block Out Other People In Your Facebook Photos

You're A Hippie

DEALMAKER: You Have a Beard

We Work Together

Your Sorry Excuse For A Mustache

You're Cheap

Dealbreaker Jr. : You Like The WORST Pokemon

Your Disdain For Religion

You Love Strip Clubs

DEALMAKER: You're Jeff Goldblum

You Chew Tobacco

Your Infatuation With Children's Literature

You're Shorter Than Me

Your Speech Patterns

Your Out of Control Sarcasm

You're a Meter Maid

Your Dead Celebrity Jokes

You Have Fangs

You Haven't Read a Book Since High School

You Convey Your Feelings Through Lengthy Poetic Emails

You Try To Pick Me Up In Your Car At The Stop Light

There's Too Much Stuff In Your Shower

DEALMAKER: You're So Fucking Talented

You ONLY Watch The Colbert Report

You Won't Stop Talking About Your Ex

You Don't Like The Beatles

You're Always Late

We Already Dated

Your Creepy Roommate

You Kiss WIth Your Eyes Open

You Voted For American Idol But Not In The Presidential Election

Your Movie Picks Are Disturbing

Your Buffy Obsession

You Won't Talk To Me In Public

You Talk Through Movies

Your Facebook Page

DEALMAKER: You Laugh At My Jokes

You Broke My Toilet

You Dated My Best Friend

You're A Metrosexual

You're Pleased About The Prop 8 Decision

You're Devastated Over American Idol

You Love Designer Frozen Yogurt

You're Not Excited To See Up

Your Tears

You Make Me Want To Listen To Tori Amos

Your Excessive Body Hair

You Live To Work

You're Not Mark Ruffalo

Your Awful Taste In Television

You Say "Vagine"

You Apologize Too Much

You're Too Hot

You're Sketchy

Your Dirty Bathroom

Your Softcore Porn Career

You Talk Like The Internet

Your Wedge Shoes

Your White Dreads

DEALMAKER: You Volunteer To Give Me Back Massages

Your Soul Patch

You Have an Inner Lip Tattoo

Your Twitter

You're A Vegetarian, But You Don't Eat Vegetables

You're A "Vampire"

If You See A Guitar, You Have To Play It... But Can't

Your Sugar Daddy

DEALMAKER: You Make Me Delicious Pancakes

Your Botox Injections

You Listen To Dashboard Confessional

You Have Bad Taste In Denim

Your Checkered Past

You Drive a Hummer

You Don't Remember My Name

You Treat 4/20 As A Holiday

You Want To Know "What We Are"

(Rebuttal) You Can't Answer Simple Questions, Such As "What Are We?"

(Rebuttal) Okay, So You Tell Me "What We Are"

You Keep Trying To Feed Me

You Won't Leave Me Alone

You're Depressed

Your Looney Tunes Jacket

You Keep Saying, "Oh My God, You Hate Me!"

Your Face Gives Me Too Much Information About What Your Dad Looks Like

You're Crazy

You're Saving Yourself For Marriage

You Look Nothing Like Your Picture

You Don't Like Me

You Prefer Mac And Me To E.T

Your Scrapbook

Your "Picture Face"

You Keep Trying To Do Anal

You're "Poly amorous"

You're Crushing On Zac Efron

You Like Me

You Don't Like The Banana Derby

You've Got Baggage

You're A Bad Kisser

You Have More Than One Kid

Your Grammar

You're Not Into That Sex Thing I'm Into

You're A Scientologist

You Don't Like The McDonald's Filet O Fish Jingle

You Don't Believe In Evolution

You Relate Everything Back To Sex

You're An Idiot

You Don't Drink

You Love "I Love College"

You Talk About Pooping

You're A Deadbeat

You're A Jackrabbit In Bed

You Sit On The Same Side Of The Booth

You're Not Brian Dennehey

Your Joke Tattoo

You Said "LOL"

You're Not Funny

You Have A DUI

Your Exclamation Point Abuse

You Live With Your Parents

Your Dirty Fingernails

Your Clumsy Threesome Propositions

You're Really Into "The Secret"

You're Diablo Cody

You Have Too Many Eyes

You're A Doormat

Your Black Leather Couch

Your Ironic Mustache

You're A Magician

You're Really Close With Your Dog

You're Public Displays Of Affection

Your Freckle Fetish

You're Cheating On Me

You Don't Own A TV

You're A Cougar

You Like Nickelback

Your Screensaver

You're A Suicide Girl

You're A "Joke Rapist"

Your Comic Sans

You're A Dentist

You Bought Tickets To Burning Man... Again

You're Drunk (Right Now)

You Don't Like Pizza

You're a "Witchy Woman"

Your Animal Rights Activism

You're Purposefully Ignorant

You're A Liar

You "Just Got Out Of A Thing"

Your High Horse

You're Uncircumcised

Your Facebook Pokes

You're "Worldly"

Your Negligent Waste Removal

Your Precious Childhood Toy

Your Bellybutton Ring

Your Knuckle Tattoos

Your Netflix Queue

Your Post Date Texting

Your Dated Impressions

Your Crocs

Your Disney Princess Fetish

Your Dreamcatcher

Your Anti-Valentine's Day Party

Your Low Tolerance

You Might Be A Murderer

Your Dumb Hat

You Bought A Zune

You're Joaquin Phoenix

You're A Flake

You're Scary

Your Cologne

You're Too Cute

Your Speakers

Your Non-Prescription Glasses

Your Delusions of Grandeur

You're SO Random

You're A Bad Drunk

Your Marilyn Monroe Piercing

Your Makeup

Your Clever Facial Hair

Your Velcro Sandals

Your Baby Talk

Your AOL Account

You Don't Like Sushi

You're Sad

Your Ed Hardy Clothes

Your Band

Following

72 notes August 11, 2009 4 16 PM

You Don’t Like Prince

Get the fuck out of my Little Red Corvette, Darling Nikki. Just know that I Would Die 4 U, but no longer do I Wanna Be Your Lover. I’m leaving you, before you leave ME, standing in the Purple Rain, that is. Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad?

In conclusion, Batdance.

1. grapesoda reblogged this from dealbreaker
2. stantonbhola reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

   Perfect reason for...anyone. How could...not like Prince???...

3. misswhiskey reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

   ultimate dealbreaker for me. Seriously.

4. erickert reblogged this from dealbreaker
5. michellelucida reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

   call shenanigans. NOBODY DOESN’T LIKE PRINCE.

6. marcelluscentel reblogged this from dealbreaker
7. teenytinychild reblogged this from dealbreaker
8. spilledbuttons reblogged this from dealbreaker
9. peaceofmind liked this
10. lacaradetortuga liked this
11. kenni-the-elephant liked this
12. zoobunny reblogged this from dealbreaker
13. tobeaparagraph liked this
14. mentalpicture reblogged this from dealbreaker
15. dontdrinkthetarwater reblogged this from dealbreaker
16. dorkydamaris reblogged this from dealbreaker
17. caraface reblogged this from dealbreaker
18. verbs-n-nouns liked this
19. jeeesss reblogged this from acrobaticsynonym
20. acrobaticsynonym reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    SO. Fucking. True.

21. voirdire reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    ultimate dealbreakers. Take note, boys.

22. myroomiswhite reblogged this from kulap
23. mrsitsreallyme reblogged this from carameljawn and added:

    how could i not reblog this…just the picture alone! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha…had to get my “katt williams” ten...

24. katherinespiers liked this
25. addicusmarie liked this
26. infromoutofnowhere liked this
27. bailums reblogged this from dealbreaker
28. chula liked this
29. kellywargo liked this
30. carameljawn reblogged this from dealbreaker
31. tothebarricades liked this
32. laurenok reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    omg totally true. i love

33. hathaway liked this
34. natashastyles reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    have ever seen. i adore him.

35. katillac liked this
36. chasingcoolness liked this
37. bowlingalleylawyer liked this
38. minou liked this
39. nicolettewho reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    LOL THIS IS FOR LAUREN PORTILLO EVERYONE

40. vlk liked this
41. britticisms liked this
42. sistermarymartha liked this
43. cijimcb liked this
44. mitchs reblogged this from tayra and added:

    HEUHEUAHEUHEUHAEUHUEHAUEHUAHEUHEUHEA

45. crabbyalissa liked this
46. hurricane-k reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    So, so true. My (otherwise lovely) cousins didn’t recognize “Little...Corvette” when

47. glitterbubbles reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    tip my Raspberry Beret. and would like to conclude every statement with “Batdance” from now on.

48. neutralbomb reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    man, but, I’m sorry, Prince scares me....will never understand people wanting Michael to...

49. tiredofbeingignored liked this
50. boggle liked this
51. romee reblogged this from ohmygoodness and added:

    Lady Cab Driver, 319 Paisley Park, Erotic City…My Name is Prince. (ring ring) Damn U Darling Nikki, I’m at Dinner with...

52. lamebot liked this
53. theidiotking reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    really mean this.

54. maeby liked this
55. jimmyjosh reblogged this from lindsaydinkins and added:

    Prince > MJ… there I said it.

56. joshochos liked this
57. theycallmerass liked this
58. mismatchedcons liked this
59. dirtypreston liked this
60. fraternalfilms liked this
61. dinosaurparty liked this
62. slackmo reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    Amen. Quality litmus test.

63. lindsaydinkins reblogged this from nathanieljames
64. tayra reblogged this from dealbreaker
65. doinwork liked this
66. ohmygoodness reblogged this from dealbreaker
67. overtoned liked this
68. shirtdress liked this
69. lindsaykatai liked this
70. nathanieljames reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    agree. No Erotic City for you.

71. thiswontlastlong liked this
72. tnkcmndr liked this
73. kulap reblogged this from dealbreaker
74. paperchilton liked this
75. doneinlove reblogged this from dealbreaker
76. datingrahm liked this
77. samarie liked this
78. dealbreaker posted this