GUESTBREAKER: Your Sorry Excuse For a Mustache. Hey, you’ve got a little something on your face. Right under your lip. Oh, that isn’t bits of feces on your face there? That’s facial hair? Could have fooled me. I know reaching puberty is pretty exciting, but having the facial hair of a 15-year-old when you’re in college is a little ridiculous. When only dirty, herpes-prone hipsters find you attractive, you may want to consider making a change. Or registering with the government as a sex offender. A Guest Dealbreaker written by Aliya Mann.

GUESTBREAKER: Your Sorry Excuse For a Mustache.

Hey, you’ve got a little something on your face. Right under your lip. Oh, that isn’t bits of feces on your face there? That’s facial hair? Could have fooled me. I know reaching puberty is pretty exciting, but having the facial hair of a 15-year-old when you’re in college is a little ridiculous. When only dirty, herpes-prone hipsters find you attractive, you may want to consider making a change. Or registering with the government as a sex offender.

A Guest Dealbreaker written by Aliya Mann.