About

These are dealbreakers and they are capable of ruining everything.

We are Dave and Marisa and we are cringing as we type this. blog your own dealbreakers or send to: dealbreakerblog@gmail.com
Update: We're on Twitter! @Dealbreakerblog

PAST ENTRIES

You Came On My Face

You Don't Have Sheets On Your Bed

Everything About You

You Think You're a White Rapper

You're A Picky Eater

Your Ex Is "Totally Jealous Of Me"

DEALMAKER: You're A Nice Jewish Guy

Your O-Face

You're A Juggalo

You Are Bella From Twilight

You Have A Small Penis

Your Misuse Of Quotation Marks

You've Been In a Sarah Palin Video On Youtube

Your Gross Feet

You Don't Eat

You Don't Like To Watch Degrassi

You Refer To Yourself In The Third Person

You Share Custody Of Your Dog With Your Ex

Your Daddy Issues

Your Wallet Chain

Thanksgiving Plans!

You're "Bad At Relationships"

You're Not A Delicious Pizza

You Have Swine Flu

Your Blatant Sexual Harassment

DEALMAKER: You Brought Cupcakes To Work

You're A Gutter Punk

You're Walmart

You Hate My City (LA)

You're a Tyrannical Music Snob

You Have The Same Name As My Dad

You Dumped Me

DEALMAKER: You're British

You're Married... With Kids

You (Unironically) Call Things Gay

You Don't Have A Condom

You're a Philosophy Major

Rebuttal: Your Slutty Halloween Costume Is Fine With Me...

Your Slutty Halloween Costume

You Watch The Hills

Dave And Marisa: Snarky Blogmonsters

You Don't Know We're Dating

Your Use Of Emoticons

You Grabbed My Penis On The L Train

Your Meaningful Lyrics

You're An American Apparel Model

You're Lady Gaga

You Watch Fox News

You Say Things Like “I’m Just One Of Those People That Likes To Get Up Early And Go For A Run”

You Won't Kiss Me After Oral

You Chew Gum In Your Sleep

Your Relationship With Your Mom

You're a Furry

Your Devil Sticks

Your Love of Cocaine

You're Boring

You Sell Weed

You Have a Tail

You're Not Patrick Swayze

You Have Shitty Taste In Music

You "Can't Go For That"

DEALMAKER: You Are Barack Obama

Your Use Of "That's What She Said"

You Would Do Anything For Love, But You Won't Do That

You're The Cat Lady

You Own A Yacht

You Add "(Sp?)" After Misspelled Words

Your Joke T-Shirts

You're Against Universal Health Care

You're Not Really a Puppy Person

You're Probably a Lesbian

DEALMAKER: I Like You So Much I'll Put Up With Your Dealbreakers

You're Stretching Your Ears

You’re The Singer For Republica And It’s Been 12 Years Since “Ready To Go”

You Are Guy Fieri

Your Half Ponytail

You Aren’t a Real Person, Just a Coat on a Coat-rack in the Dark

You Can't Hang

You Only Drink Malternative Beverages

You Wear Shorts To Important Events

You Don't Like Prince

You Gave Me a Fake Name

You Love The Plain White T's

Your Cucumber Melon Body Spray

You Won't Take Out Your Bluetooth

You Read Dealbreaker

Your Frosted Tips

You Hate Unicorns

DEALMAKER: That Ass

Your Racist Jokes

Article: That Super Quirky Girl From That Movie

You Call Target "Tarjay"

You Don't "Get" Radiohead

You Block Out Other People In Your Facebook Photos

You're A Hippie

DEALMAKER: You Have a Beard

We Work Together

Your Sorry Excuse For A Mustache

You're Cheap

Dealbreaker Jr. : You Like The WORST Pokemon

Your Disdain For Religion

You Love Strip Clubs

DEALMAKER: You're Jeff Goldblum

You Chew Tobacco

Your Infatuation With Children's Literature

You're Shorter Than Me

Your Speech Patterns

Your Out of Control Sarcasm

You're a Meter Maid

Your Dead Celebrity Jokes

You Have Fangs

You Haven't Read a Book Since High School

You Convey Your Feelings Through Lengthy Poetic Emails

You Try To Pick Me Up In Your Car At The Stop Light

There's Too Much Stuff In Your Shower

DEALMAKER: You're So Fucking Talented

You ONLY Watch The Colbert Report

You Won't Stop Talking About Your Ex

You Don't Like The Beatles

You're Always Late

We Already Dated

Your Creepy Roommate

You Kiss WIth Your Eyes Open

You Voted For American Idol But Not In The Presidential Election

Your Movie Picks Are Disturbing

Your Buffy Obsession

You Won't Talk To Me In Public

You Talk Through Movies

Your Facebook Page

DEALMAKER: You Laugh At My Jokes

You Broke My Toilet

You Dated My Best Friend

You're A Metrosexual

You're Pleased About The Prop 8 Decision

You're Devastated Over American Idol

You Love Designer Frozen Yogurt

You're Not Excited To See Up

Your Tears

You Make Me Want To Listen To Tori Amos

Your Excessive Body Hair

You Live To Work

You're Not Mark Ruffalo

Your Awful Taste In Television

You Say "Vagine"

You Apologize Too Much

You're Too Hot

You're Sketchy

Your Dirty Bathroom

Your Softcore Porn Career

You Talk Like The Internet

Your Wedge Shoes

Your White Dreads

DEALMAKER: You Volunteer To Give Me Back Massages

Your Soul Patch

You Have an Inner Lip Tattoo

Your Twitter

You're A Vegetarian, But You Don't Eat Vegetables

You're A "Vampire"

If You See A Guitar, You Have To Play It... But Can't

Your Sugar Daddy

DEALMAKER: You Make Me Delicious Pancakes

Your Botox Injections

You Listen To Dashboard Confessional

You Have Bad Taste In Denim

Your Checkered Past

You Drive a Hummer

You Don't Remember My Name

You Treat 4/20 As A Holiday

You Want To Know "What We Are"

(Rebuttal) You Can't Answer Simple Questions, Such As "What Are We?"

(Rebuttal) Okay, So You Tell Me "What We Are"

You Keep Trying To Feed Me

You Won't Leave Me Alone

You're Depressed

Your Looney Tunes Jacket

You Keep Saying, "Oh My God, You Hate Me!"

Your Face Gives Me Too Much Information About What Your Dad Looks Like

You're Crazy

You're Saving Yourself For Marriage

You Look Nothing Like Your Picture

You Don't Like Me

You Prefer Mac And Me To E.T

Your Scrapbook

Your "Picture Face"

You Keep Trying To Do Anal

You're "Poly amorous"

You're Crushing On Zac Efron

You Like Me

You Don't Like The Banana Derby

You've Got Baggage

You're A Bad Kisser

You Have More Than One Kid

Your Grammar

You're Not Into That Sex Thing I'm Into

You're A Scientologist

You Don't Like The McDonald's Filet O Fish Jingle

You Don't Believe In Evolution

You Relate Everything Back To Sex

You're An Idiot

You Don't Drink

You Love "I Love College"

You Talk About Pooping

You're A Deadbeat

You're A Jackrabbit In Bed

You Sit On The Same Side Of The Booth

You're Not Brian Dennehey

Your Joke Tattoo

You Said "LOL"

You're Not Funny

You Have A DUI

Your Exclamation Point Abuse

You Live With Your Parents

Your Dirty Fingernails

Your Clumsy Threesome Propositions

You're Really Into "The Secret"

You're Diablo Cody

You Have Too Many Eyes

You're A Doormat

Your Black Leather Couch

Your Ironic Mustache

You're A Magician

You're Really Close With Your Dog

You're Public Displays Of Affection

Your Freckle Fetish

You're Cheating On Me

You Don't Own A TV

You're A Cougar

You Like Nickelback

Your Screensaver

You're A Suicide Girl

You're A "Joke Rapist"

Your Comic Sans

You're A Dentist

You Bought Tickets To Burning Man... Again

You're Drunk (Right Now)

You Don't Like Pizza

You're a "Witchy Woman"

Your Animal Rights Activism

You're Purposefully Ignorant

You're A Liar

You "Just Got Out Of A Thing"

Your High Horse

You're Uncircumcised

Your Facebook Pokes

You're "Worldly"

Your Negligent Waste Removal

Your Precious Childhood Toy

Your Bellybutton Ring

Your Knuckle Tattoos

Your Netflix Queue

Your Post Date Texting

Your Dated Impressions

Your Crocs

Your Disney Princess Fetish

Your Dreamcatcher

Your Anti-Valentine's Day Party

Your Low Tolerance

You Might Be A Murderer

Your Dumb Hat

You Bought A Zune

You're Joaquin Phoenix

You're A Flake

You're Scary

Your Cologne

You're Too Cute

Your Speakers

Your Non-Prescription Glasses

Your Delusions of Grandeur

You're SO Random

You're A Bad Drunk

Your Marilyn Monroe Piercing

Your Makeup

Your Clever Facial Hair

Your Velcro Sandals

Your Baby Talk

Your AOL Account

You Don't Like Sushi

You're Sad

Your Ed Hardy Clothes

Your Band

Following

168 notes June 19, 2009 4 14 PM

GUESTBREAKER: You Don’t Like the Beatles

I don’t … I can’t … do you … what the … how can you … I just … but they … I mean, all music … it’s just that … okay, so … no, wait … okay, so you’re saying … no, I don’t really … I don’t see how … alright, but if … so the thing is … but … can’t … form … sentences … too … confused.

A Guest Dealbreaker written by Lindsay Katai. 

1. wearemice liked this
2. michelleiam reblogged this from dealbreaker
3. lisamarie123 liked this
4. feralsthoughts reblogged this from dealbreaker
5. deladom liked this
6. sloaneee reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

   guess i break deals then because

7. heykid liked this
8. bleus liked this
9. chichi823 reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

   That’s actually not as bad as not being able to SPELL ‘Beatles.’

10. starsandcola reblogged this from dealbreaker
11. dirty-pretty-things reblogged this from dealbreaker
12. weirda liked this
13. alrightalrightalrightnowladies reblogged this from dealbreaker
14. katherine-elaine reblogged this from tomaskosauce and added:

    So wait… what… there are… people…who…don’t like…I can’t even say it.

15. nicolettewho reblogged this from dealbreaker
16. tomaskosauce reblogged this from dealbreaker
17. smcs reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    THIS IS THE BEST BLOG I’VE SEEN RECENTLY SAM SHOWED THIS TO ME AND ACTUALLY SO MUCH RESPECT

18. kristinaj liked this
19. retrovival liked this
20. jonthecaveman liked this
21. callmecello reblogged this from goodolddays and added:

    This reminded me of Jason. Except he would probably have more coherent and ass-kicking sentences.

22. franklin-emkat reblogged this from goodolddays
23. crannybananny reblogged this from goodolddays and added:

    Hahaha. I would be similarly speechless. And I’d probably never talk to that person again. Apparently people in...

24. goodolddays reblogged this from staunchcharacter
25. staunchcharacter reblogged this from dealbreaker
26. lunadelica reblogged this from dealbreaker
27. nothingofanyimportance liked this
28. ---devotchka reblogged this from dealbreaker
29. itsabattleroyale liked this
30. myonlysunshine reblogged this from dealbreaker
31. leslieandco liked this
32. teenytinychild reblogged this from dealbreaker
33. meredithann liked this
34. betterthanyou reblogged this from dealbreaker
35. cksaffy liked this
36. heatherdawncohen reblogged this from dealbreaker
37. fireishot liked this
38. keepyourselfwarm reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    Ultimate dealbreaker.

39. torecreateus liked this
40. eachrach liked this
41. brittanyrohl reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    Def been a dealbreaker for me before.

42. zandraloveee reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    But how!?!! Lol.

43. thereisahippoonmyroof liked this
44. thisismewriting reblogged this from dealbreaker
45. lovebrighter reblogged this from theatlanticwasborntoday and added:

    This happened to me IRL.

46. writingfiction reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    MAJOR DEALBREAKER FOR ME

47. tinyvessel reblogged this from dealbreaker
48. theatlanticwasborntoday reblogged this from dealbreaker
49. mikaylalala liked this
50. shriyanevatia liked this
51. bak-u liked this
52. ashtrayheartedgirl reblogged this from ifuckinglovetea and added:

    But I don’t. -loses followers- I accept they’re iconic. But, jut don’t like them.

53. kabloom liked this
54. roaringsilence liked this
55. whatnextlove liked this
56. carnivaloflight reblogged this from simplyshady
57. kathleendieu liked this
58. midnight-radio liked this
59. simplyshady reblogged this from ifuckinglovetea
60. ifuckinglovetea reblogged this from happyadolescent
61. aerodynamique reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    NONE of their songs?! NONE?!

62. kevinrackham liked this
63. lornaanrol reblogged this from mattgcn and added:

    DEALBREAKER

64. lesleyintheskywithdiamonds reblogged this from kaitlinfellers and added:

    I’ve actually said pretty much that exact statement before

65. christmasonthemoon liked this
66. mattgcn reblogged this from alackofcolour and added:

    people who don’t like the beatles are bad people

67. memyselfmichelle reblogged this from alackofcolour
68. alackofcolour reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    this. this this this thisity this THIS

69. kaitlinfellers reblogged this from dealbreaker
70. d00ditsdes liked this
71. robotsraholes liked this
72. sierraforpeace liked this
73. lexical liked this
74. emilykathryn reblogged this from dealbreaker
75. lovertine liked this
76. afez reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    This is something I’ll never understand....Beatles are the quintissental definition of...

77. teddybearhugs liked this
78. jorgerodriguez liked this
79. acorns reblogged this from dealbreaker
80. hanbanesty liked this
81. supinternets liked this
82. cjgraves liked this
83. ratchelonthegate reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    think I’ve ever read anything

84. thekeyofreason liked this
85. veedoll liked this
86. meatsack liked this
87. thedarksideoftherainbow liked this
88. becausethewindishigh reblogged this from oceanchild
89. ranga-sauce liked this
90. dividedbythesea reblogged this from oceanchild and added:

    i fucking know right.

91. oceanchild reblogged this from prudenceagnes and added:

    George, the things you do to me

92. prudenceagnes reblogged this from dealbreaker
93. rockandrollhistory reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    It’s true. This is a big one. How...not like the Beatles? They wrote perfect pop songs and...

94. pandarants reblogged this from dealbreaker
95. inacrumbling liked this
96. glitterbubbles liked this
97. fieryholocaust liked this
98. messyjess liked this
99. aheathbar reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    i found one of these…”dealbreakers”…and i reacted exactly like this. then i

100. phizpatrick reblogged this from lachrymouse
101. wynnebenjaminrenz reblogged this from dealbreaker
102. slackmo liked this
103. buongiorno liked this
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116. janiejimplin reblogged this from dealbreaker
117. ls86 liked this
118. idledreamer reblogged this from haleyleigh
119. baravettski liked this
120. drawing-cowboys liked this
121. vladislava liked this
122. coolfresh reblogged this from dealbreaker
123. thefrancakes liked this
124. ahazygirl reblogged this from jss and added:

     Agreed. You hate the Beatles? Just leave now.

125. jazzyjean liked this
126. emcum reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

     quite the serious dealbreaker.

127. fraternalfilms liked this
128. jimmyjosh reblogged this from dealbreaker
129. kittybex reblogged this from dealbreaker
130. unkeptsecrets reblogged this from letusfly
131. whitenoiseinstereo liked this
132. letusfly reblogged this from dealbreaker
133. janambm liked this
134. neonstreetlight liked this
135. haleyleigh reblogged this from synecdoche
136. megstrapsgats reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

     Once again.. spot on. dealbreaker:

137. shirtsshoesandshame reblogged this from natface and added:

     yeahhh………um, i dont like the beatles. not to sound ignorrant but i’ve not ever been able to “get” what the big deal is....

138. nedhepburn liked this
139. secondstar05 liked this
140. inonemorehour reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

     can deal with, “They were overrated.” Sure. You...have to love them, just at least like...

141. popnlocknessmonster liked this
142. gratefulgeorge liked this
143. nuclearpizza reblogged this from breakfastinbed
144. allieallen reblogged this from dealbreaker
145. demarko reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

     growing up and loving

146. mapleleavesormakebelieve reblogged this from synecdoche
147. breakfastinbed reblogged this from synecdoche and added:

     Yeah I just really don’t understand this. I know people who say they don’t like the Beatles but like seriously? HOW?

148. gaptoothdarling reblogged this from dealbreaker
149. halffiction liked this
150. lachrymouse reblogged this from dealbreaker
151. kitschfrays liked this
152. absentofgrace reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

     Aw shit. That’s me. Well, it’s not that...make an effort to listen to them.

153. thoseareturkeys reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

     Who honestly doesn’t like...Beatles? Even a little bit?

154. johnwilkestooth reblogged this from synecdoche and added:

     i don’t think i’ve ever thought someone who liked the beatles was worthwhile. EVER. NOT EVEN YOU, JOSHUA JACKSON!

155. jss reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

     understand if they’re not your favorite band or something —...to not even like them?

156. jennydrama liked this
157. whiskeyandgoatsmilk liked this
158. synecdoche reblogged this from dealbreaker
159. yellowhat reblogged this from dealbreaker
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164. dealbreaker posted this