About

These are dealbreakers and they are capable of ruining everything.

We are Dave and Marisa and we are cringing as we type this. blog your own dealbreakers or send to: dealbreakerblog@gmail.com
Update: We're on Twitter! @Dealbreakerblog

PAST ENTRIES

You Are Bella From Twilight

You Have A Small Penis

Your Misuse Of Quotation Marks

You've Been In a Sarah Palin Video On Youtube

Your Gross Feet

You Don't Eat

You Don't Like To Watch Degrassi

You Refer To Yourself In The Third Person

You Share Custody Of Your Dog With Your Ex

Your Daddy Issues

Your Wallet Chain

Thanksgiving Plans!

You're "Bad At Relationships"

You're Not A Delicious Pizza

You Have Swine Flu

Your Blatant Sexual Harassment

DEALMAKER: You Brought Cupcakes To Work

You're A Gutter Punk

You're Walmart

You Hate My City (LA)

You're a Tyrannical Music Snob

You Have The Same Name As My Dad

You Dumped Me

DEALMAKER: You're British

You're Married... With Kids

You (Unironically) Call Things Gay

You Don't Have A Condom

You're a Philosophy Major

Rebuttal: Your Slutty Halloween Costume Is Fine With Me...

Your Slutty Halloween Costume

You Watch The Hills

Dave And Marisa: Snarky Blogmonsters

You Don't Know We're Dating

Your Use Of Emoticons

You Grabbed My Penis On The L Train

Your Meaningful Lyrics

You're An American Apparel Model

You're Lady Gaga

You Watch Fox News

You Say Things Like “I’m Just One Of Those People That Likes To Get Up Early And Go For A Run”

You Won't Kiss Me After Oral

You Chew Gum In Your Sleep

Your Relationship With Your Mom

You're a Furry

Your Devil Sticks

Your Love of Cocaine

You're Boring

You Sell Weed

You Have a Tail

You're Not Patrick Swayze

You Have Shitty Taste In Music

You "Can't Go For That"

DEALMAKER: You Are Barack Obama

Your Use Of "That's What She Said"

You Would Do Anything For Love, But You Won't Do That

You're The Cat Lady

You Own A Yacht

You Add "(Sp?)" After Misspelled Words

Your Joke T-Shirts

You're Against Universal Health Care

You're Not Really a Puppy Person

You're Probably a Lesbian

DEALMAKER: I Like You So Much I'll Put Up With Your Dealbreakers

You're Stretching Your Ears

You’re The Singer For Republica And It’s Been 12 Years Since “Ready To Go”

You Are Guy Fieri

Your Half Ponytail

You Aren’t a Real Person, Just a Coat on a Coat-rack in the Dark

You Can't Hang

You Only Drink Malternative Beverages

You Wear Shorts To Important Events

You Don't Like Prince

You Gave Me a Fake Name

You Love The Plain White T's

Your Cucumber Melon Body Spray

You Won't Take Out Your Bluetooth

You Read Dealbreaker

Your Frosted Tips

You Hate Unicorns

DEALMAKER: That Ass

Your Racist Jokes

Article: That Super Quirky Girl From That Movie

You Call Target "Tarjay"

You Don't "Get" Radiohead

You Block Out Other People In Your Facebook Photos

You're A Hippie

DEALMAKER: You Have a Beard

We Work Together

Your Sorry Excuse For A Mustache

You're Cheap

Dealbreaker Jr. : You Like The WORST Pokemon

Your Disdain For Religion

You Love Strip Clubs

DEALMAKER: You're Jeff Goldblum

You Chew Tobacco

Your Infatuation With Children's Literature

You're Shorter Than Me

Your Speech Patterns

Your Out of Control Sarcasm

You're a Meter Maid

Your Dead Celebrity Jokes

You Have Fangs

You Haven't Read a Book Since High School

You Convey Your Feelings Through Lengthy Poetic Emails

You Try To Pick Me Up In Your Car At The Stop Light

There's Too Much Stuff In Your Shower

DEALMAKER: You're So Fucking Talented

You ONLY Watch The Colbert Report

You Won't Stop Talking About Your Ex

You Don't Like The Beatles

You're Always Late

We Already Dated

Your Creepy Roommate

You Kiss WIth Your Eyes Open

You Voted For American Idol But Not In The Presidential Election

Your Movie Picks Are Disturbing

Your Buffy Obsession

You Won't Talk To Me In Public

You Talk Through Movies

Your Facebook Page

DEALMAKER: You Laugh At My Jokes

You Broke My Toilet

You Dated My Best Friend

You're A Metrosexual

You're Pleased About The Prop 8 Decision

You're Devastated Over American Idol

You Love Designer Frozen Yogurt

You're Not Excited To See Up

Your Tears

You Make Me Want To Listen To Tori Amos

Your Excessive Body Hair

You Live To Work

You're Not Mark Ruffalo

Your Awful Taste In Television

You Say "Vagine"

You Apologize Too Much

You're Too Hot

You're Sketchy

Your Dirty Bathroom

Your Softcore Porn Career

You Talk Like The Internet

Your Wedge Shoes

Your White Dreads

DEALMAKER: You Volunteer To Give Me Back Massages

Your Soul Patch

You Have an Inner Lip Tattoo

Your Twitter

You're A Vegetarian, But You Don't Eat Vegetables

You're A "Vampire"

If You See A Guitar, You Have To Play It... But Can't

Your Sugar Daddy

DEALMAKER: You Make Me Delicious Pancakes

Your Botox Injections

You Listen To Dashboard Confessional

You Have Bad Taste In Denim

Your Checkered Past

You Drive a Hummer

You Don't Remember My Name

You Treat 4/20 As A Holiday

You Want To Know "What We Are"

(Rebuttal) You Can't Answer Simple Questions, Such As "What Are We?"

(Rebuttal) Okay, So You Tell Me "What We Are"

You Keep Trying To Feed Me

You Won't Leave Me Alone

You're Depressed

Your Looney Tunes Jacket

You Keep Saying, "Oh My God, You Hate Me!"

Your Face Gives Me Too Much Information About What Your Dad Looks Like

You're Crazy

You're Saving Yourself For Marriage

You Look Nothing Like Your Picture

You Don't Like Me

You Prefer Mac And Me To E.T

Your Scrapbook

Your "Picture Face"

You Keep Trying To Do Anal

You're "Poly amorous"

You're Crushing On Zac Efron

You Like Me

You Don't Like The Banana Derby

You've Got Baggage

You're A Bad Kisser

You Have More Than One Kid

Your Grammar

You're Not Into That Sex Thing I'm Into

You're A Scientologist

You Don't Like The McDonald's Filet O Fish Jingle

You Don't Believe In Evolution

You Relate Everything Back To Sex

You're An Idiot

You Don't Drink

You Love "I Love College"

You Talk About Pooping

You're A Deadbeat

You're A Jackrabbit In Bed

You Sit On The Same Side Of The Booth

You're Not Brian Dennehey

Your Joke Tattoo

You Said "LOL"

You're Not Funny

You Have A DUI

Your Exclamation Point Abuse

You Live With Your Parents

Your Dirty Fingernails

Your Clumsy Threesome Propositions

You're Really Into "The Secret"

You're Diablo Cody

You Have Too Many Eyes

You're A Doormat

Your Black Leather Couch

Your Ironic Mustache

You're A Magician

You're Really Close With Your Dog

You're Public Displays Of Affection

Your Freckle Fetish

You're Cheating On Me

You Don't Own A TV

You're A Cougar

You Like Nickelback

Your Screensaver

You're A Suicide Girl

You're A "Joke Rapist"

Your Comic Sans

You're A Dentist

You Bought Tickets To Burning Man... Again

You're Drunk (Right Now)

You Don't Like Pizza

You're a "Witchy Woman"

Your Animal Rights Activism

You're Purposefully Ignorant

You're A Liar

You "Just Got Out Of A Thing"

Your High Horse

You're Uncircumcised

Your Facebook Pokes

You're "Worldly"

Your Negligent Waste Removal

Your Precious Childhood Toy

Your Bellybutton Ring

Your Knuckle Tattoos

Your Netflix Queue

Your Post Date Texting

Your Dated Impressions

Your Crocs

Your Disney Princess Fetish

Your Dreamcatcher

Your Anti-Valentine's Day Party

Your Low Tolerance

You Might Be A Murderer

Your Dumb Hat

You Bought A Zune

You're Joaquin Phoenix

You're A Flake

You're Scary

Your Cologne

You're Too Cute

Your Speakers

Your Non-Prescription Glasses

Your Delusions of Grandeur

You're SO Random

You're A Bad Drunk

Your Marilyn Monroe Piercing

Your Makeup

Your Clever Facial Hair

Your Velcro Sandals

Your Baby Talk

Your AOL Account

You Don't Like Sushi

You're Sad

Your Ed Hardy Clothes

Your Band

Following

125 notes June 11, 2009 4 58 PM Reblogged from theidiotking

The Tumblr Alphabet.

theidiotking:

Alcohol, Boobs, Cupcakes, Dogs, Edward Cullen, FAIL, Graphic design, Hipsters, Indie porn, Jason Schwartzman, Kittens, Lady Gaga, Memes, Neil Patrick Harris, Obama, Photoshop, Quotes, Ryan Adams, Sexism, Tumblarity, Unfollow, Venn Diagrams, WANT, Xzibit, Yeah (,Fuck), Zac Efron

1. binkbot liked this
2. iamgiraffe liked this
3. lauriebot liked this
4. quinlanbrooks reblogged this from theidiotking
5. katybeth liked this
6. iamamandasaurus reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

   bahahahahaha true story

7. wonderfinch liked this
8. samgirl reblogged this from dealbreaker
9. laura21tabi liked this
10. fragilemacabre reblogged this from dealbreaker
11. loungearoundparadise reblogged this from yerawizardharry and added:

    Yeah, I’ve heard of him. He’s in my pants

12. episkey liked this
13. itsaishah liked this
14. heartbrakes liked this
15. fatalextraction liked this
16. unicornheadphones liked this
17. amadefect liked this
18. deceptivecadences liked this
19. treklemmer liked this
20. poshspice reblogged this from sillylovesongs and added:

    E IS NOT FOR EDWARD CULLEN. I’LL GET BACK TO YOU ON THIS.

21. sillylovesongs reblogged this from flugelhorn and added:

    I IS FOR INGLORIOUS BASTERDS.

22. ohhaymadi liked this
23. frnfbn liked this
24. seularen reblogged this from flugelhorn
25. tic-tac-toe liked this
26. flugelhorn reblogged this from iamronburgundy
27. iamronburgundy reblogged this from yerawizardharry
28. ifellinlovewithadancer reblogged this from yerawizardharry and added:

    —yea!i know zach! sylar in heroes :)

29. bobsyerteapot reblogged this from yerawizardharry and added:

    and why the hell is edward cullen there? we need to change that thing

30. yerawizardharry reblogged this from theidiotking and added:

    H IS HIPSTERS? THE FUCK IT IS. H IS HARRY POTTER. and...isn’t right either. U HERD OF...

31. embrangle reblogged this from nbloggz
32. nbloggz reblogged this from srsly
33. teddybearhugs liked this
34. chivalrous reblogged this from blazamos
35. blazamos reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    I know this is old, but so true.

36. trippytipi liked this
37. gutterglam reblogged this from theidiotking
38. nikkiiii liked this
39. devera liked this
40. hollis reblogged this from dealbreaker
41. bryanboova reblogged this from dealbreaker
42. maver liked this
43. neednotwant liked this
44. pavlover reblogged this from counterfeitredhead and added:

    Also, G should be for gay. Or Glambert. P should be pregnant, too. Or maybe it’s just the people I follow…

45. startstruck reblogged this from secondstar05
46. milochronicles reblogged this from secondstar05 and added:

    haha i italicized the ones that apply to me :)

47. mayother liked this
48. jennthekitty reblogged this from counterfeitredhead
49. counterfeitredhead reblogged this from secondstar05 and added:

    I ewww’d at E. ^ AND YEAH, WTF **EDIT E SHOULD BE FOR (EXTREME) MOTHERFUCKING SCREAMING BALLSACKS! IS THAT ___ WHY YES...

50. blamemefor reblogged this from jesuschrist-
51. jesuschrist- reblogged this from secondstar05 and added:

    That was my first thought ZQ»»»»»»»»»»»»»Efron

52. amilygoddamn liked this
53. byepolar liked this
54. sarahptor liked this
55. dancewich liked this
56. inflightradio liked this
57. secondstar05 reblogged this from myquiddity and added:

    Ummmmm how did Z fail to be Zachary Quinto?

58. myquiddity reblogged this from dealbreaker
59. pkeen liked this
60. sugarsharkie reblogged this from dealbreaker
61. jmdj liked this
62. colleenanomalies liked this
63. machineryonite reblogged this from prometheuswithout
64. lylynn liked this
65. gorillasushi liked this
66. fairylights liked this
67. dontknowdontcare liked this
68. barefootinthewoods liked this
69. afterdarks liked this
70. mirandacoates liked this
71. thaiger liked this
72. secretdoor reblogged this from prometheuswithout and added:

    OMFG, WAIT these are literally 90 percent of what I talk about on a daily basis, here: Alcohol, Boobs, Cupcakes, Dogs,...

73. prometheuswithout reblogged this from srsly
74. fragilemacabre reblogged this from srsly
75. windycitygirl liked this
76. jessicacowan liked this
77. letusbeoffensive reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    Funny. And True.

78. dangchang reblogged this from margaretokay-deactivated2009072
79. letshavejuice liked this
80. mopete reblogged this from srsly
81. artvandelayed reblogged this from dealbreaker
82. obaidasushi liked this
83. giraffesgiraffes liked this
84. smilingsweetie liked this
85. lindseymayloves liked this
86. datingrahm liked this
87. ticktockemily liked this
88. lestemps-modernes reblogged this from dealbreaker
89. yellowhat reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    I resemble this comment…

90. whatthehale reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:

    MY Tumblr Alphabet: Alcohol, Brother Hale, Chicago, DR, EKB, FAIL, Graphics, Hale, I, Jeff Random, Kirkwood, LNR, Mama...

91. dealbreaker reblogged this from theidiotking
92. teawithlemon reblogged this from theidiotking and added:

    huh… maybe i follow 160odd non-ryan fans. i reckon i’ve seen more mandy posts on my dashboard

93. theidiotking reblogged this from teawithlemon and added:

    krasinsky vs. schwartzman is debatable, and i think you’re spot on about zooey d. NO idea how I missed that one....

94. jonathaneunice liked this
95. twoyellowsequalred liked this
96. teawithlemon reblogged this from srsly and added:

    i vote for substituting john krasinski for j and zooey deschanel for z, those two come up on my dashboard way more than...

97. ariavoce reblogged this from sarahmary
98. incline liked this
99. shampoo-suicide liked this
100. samarmoussa liked this
101. sixteenmilestothepromisedland liked this
102. stewy reblogged this from srsly and added:

     I haven’t come across any Jason Schwartzman posts so I must not be following the right people…

103. andeventhis liked this
104. partywithpants liked this
105. hathaway liked this
106. sparkleduck reblogged this from oceanchild and added:

     Me too! Zac Efron doesn’t even register to me!!!

107. pamfriednoodles liked this
108. napoleonsbattleplan liked this
109. oceanchild reblogged this from srsly and added:

     zac efron? uhm Zachary Quinto. for me at least.

110. iguessthatscool liked this
111. scattegories reblogged this from srsly
112. love-and-radiation liked this
113. the-birdmans-wife liked this
114. lookfindfree reblogged this from srsly
115. tiow liked this
116. popozao liked this
117. shiningstar liked this
118. kmzrtl liked this
119. lasramblas liked this
120. lastcallcasualty reblogged this from srsly
121. countyourluck liked this
122. dustindeckard reblogged this from srsly and added:

     Alcohol, Boobs, Cupcakes, Dogs, Edward Cullen, FAIL, Graphic design, Hipsters, Indie porn, Jason Schwartzman, Kittens,...

123. pork2k liked this
124. srsly reblogged this from theidiotking
125. skybarn liked this
126. theidiotking posted this