You Fucked A Hooker In Amsterdam

We met at a study abroad program in Europe and I know that we both had at least some idea that this was a romance wrapped up in the excitement of our temporary situation, the fact that I had a boyfriend in the states (scandal!), and our shared passion for the availability of all the strong and copious amounts of drugs that the Netherlands had to offer.  

And while I acknowledge that the entire time we were courting we were both on mushrooms and covered in face paint, and I think that your first pick up line had something to do with you jokingly requesting a hand job, when you told me you were going into Amsterdam to visit the Red Light District, I assumed you’d be innocently boozing with your friends at a sex show and thoughtfully bringing me back a vagina-shaped lighter. Unfortunately, I had to terminate the possibility of continuing our tryst stateside when you nonchalantly revealed your most recent foray into the unconventional pastimes offered by the Dutch. You fucked a hooker. 

 You. Fucked. A. Hooker.

They say that every time you have sex with someone, you’re basically having sex with all of the people that that person had sex with. Thanks for bumping my number up to 1 million. 

-Written By Samantha